Q&A with Professional Referee Lauren Aldrich
As a former collegiate soccer player and now professional referee, Lauren Aldrich is familiar with handling big-pressure moments.
The Hidden Opponent sat down with Lauren to learn more about the often under-discussed topic of well-being and mental health for referees.
Tell us a bit about yourself!
Hi, my name is Lauren Aldrich and I attended UMass Lowell & Troy University, playing Division I soccer. I am now a PRO Soccer Referee with the NWSL, USL Super League, USL Championship, USL League One, MLS NEXT Pro. I have two dogs named Mitzi & Brindi. I have an annual Soccer Academy I run based in Alexandria, Louisiana named Aldrich Advanced Academy. In addition to refereeing I also coach multiple boys & girls soccer teams.
What was your experience with or knowledge of mental health as a collegiate athlete?
Back in 2015-2019 when I was a collegiate athlete, mental health was not something that was discussed much at all. With that being said, coaching tactics and management of the squad reflected that. I would like to heavily preface this by noting that it wasn’t due to coaches not caring or an intentional action by anyone, but rather a byproduct of the lack of societal awareness surrounding mental wellness during that time period. The lack of understanding of the importance of mental health coupled with the dynamics of college athletics made it something that had the ingredients to make team culture become quite harmful. Unfortunately, at times it did.
I saw it in many forms within my team through eating disorders, self-harm, substance abuse, depression, anxiety, etc. Oftentimes, coaching tactics reflected a fear-based approach which caused players to constantly play under the stress of making a mistake, the confidence to play with creativity was lacking, and the foundation of joy for the sport was eroded. I look back at my career in college athletics and wonder if mental health was something we prioritized in that time—what level could I have reached in my game?
Not prioritizing mental health genuinely means that programs and coaches are not unlocking the full potential of their athletes because so much of sport is mental. The lack of understanding of mental health made college soccer less about who was the most talented and more about which players could prevail through the toxic playing environment to perform on the field. Luckily, I was one of those players that could mask and perform to some degree, but myself and my teammates should have never had to do that.
I absolutely loved college soccer, but still, to this day, I look back and know that my team’s experience could have been greatly improved had the education of mental health been better. Mental health is just another important component of athletics that will improve optimum performance, taking the time to understand and invest in that is essential and mutually beneficial for all involved. I am so happy to see how much more mental health has become a priority for collegiate athletes today and the strides that have been made in spreading awareness.
How did you transition into refereeing? What were some of the hardest parts of that transition?
Before officiating soccer, I was a youth basketball official and then an intramural referee. Even with this exposure to refereeing at a young age, I did not understand the extent of the referee pathway in sports. At first, I just did it to make some “walking around money” . After I graduated, I registered to become a high school basketball official in Louisiana. The referee coordinator heard I was a former Division I soccer player and decided to register me for soccer as well without me knowing….he is the first person I thank after every milestone. In addition, I received some amazing referee mentorship at youth soccer tournaments I attended which gave me the push I needed to put my energy solely toward soccer. After a year of officiating both sports, I hung up the basketball stripes and decided to focus on soccer officiating. I’ve been lucky enough to have the opportunity now to share the field at the professional level with some of the very mentors that inspired me to pursue soccer officiating in the first place, which is a really neat full-circle concept.
What do you love most about being a referee?
My favorite thing about refereeing is the coaching aspect of it. Similarly to soccer players, at the professional level referees are assigned a coach. Coaches review the film of each of our games and meet with us to discuss areas of improvement, such as, technique, movement, decision-making, management, tactical understanding and even our announcements if we go to video review. The pursuit of improvement, implementing new concepts and expanding my knowledge of the game through the referee lens is so rewarding. Each game presents a challenge, and there is always something to work on which makes it super mentally stimulating. In addition, as you grow as an official, you unlock different levels of matches, which is a super neat progression.
What is one misconception about refereeing, or something you wish athletes knew about the position?
As a former college soccer player, I can attest that after playing if you are interested in pursuing a career in the sport, the primary pathways typically discussed are either playing professionally, sports medicine, or coaching. Refereeing at the collegiate level or professionally is rarely discussed, which is a massive, missed opportunity because former players already have a really strong base from which to build. I wish soccer players were more aware of the potential future they could have in officiating because it is a rewarding career path that can maximize their playing experience & knowledge of the game. As a player, I had no awareness of the concept of different levels of officiating, the fact that referees compete to become professionals and how you can represent your country as a referee at these international events we players grew up watching:The Olympics, The World Cup, etc. There is more to soccer than being a player or coach–being a former player or coach can serve as a great precursor to the referee pathway.
How do you prioritize your mental health and wellness in such a demanding, high-pressure profession?
Being a professional soccer referee requires a lot of accountability and personal responsibility. Not only does this apply to physical fitness, but even more importantly, mental health. I meet weekly with a therapist and have a group of close-knit peers I confide in for support. In therapy, I have worked on reset techniques to remain sharp in the moments after making a major decision in a match. I’ve also used therapy to hold myself accountable, so that I do not attach my value as a person to my performance on the pitch. I remain disciplined to my therapy regimen because the passion we as athletes have for our craft can make us susceptible to falling into this if left unchecked. Lastly, I also stay around the sport through coaching boys & girls youth soccer teams which helps me enjoy the game from another angle when I am not refereeing. My players unknowingly keep me very grounded by providing the perspective that can sometimes get lost in all of this. Coaching serves as a great reminder about why we love this game, the importance of development & how we all perform our best when we are having fun.
How have you seen the mental health conversation change throughout your time in athletics from athlete to referee?
It’s been super encouraging to see the ongoing conversation of mental health in athletics and the resources that are now available to athletes. We’ve made massive positive strides in mental health advocacy in sport, and I look forward to watching it continue to grow.
With that said, I do believe we have room to grow in officiating when it comes to the perception of mental health resources. So much of officiating is about establishing a commanding and confident presence, because of this, acknowledging the significance of mental wellness can be uncomfortable. Changing perception to where mental health resources are viewed as a tool that should be used to enhance referee performance similarly to physical strength & conditioning is still a work in progress.
I’m hoping by speaking on this topic with The Hidden Opponent it can help the referee community further embrace available mental health resources. To take it a step further, the more we prioritize mental health in officiating the better we will be able to set officials up for success, so that they are showing up as the best version of themselves come match day!
What is one of the best pieces of advice you’ve received?
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve received was from a 12-year-old. For context, I was coaching my girls’ team at practice and like always they had many questions about my day because they could tell I was a bit bummed out. This led to me telling them that I had made a big decision in a recent game which I had just found out that whether I got it right or wrong was splitting the room in the referee world.
One of my players casually responded completely seriously to this with, “Refereeing is like pickles.” Naturally, like anyone else I had to ask what she meant by this. She proceeded, with the assistance of her teammates; to deliver an analogy I will never forget. “Refereeing is like pickles because some people REALLY like pickles and some people REALLY don’t. Just like when you make a call on the field, some people are really going to like it and some people aren’t.”
Then, her teammate chimed in, “But the BEST pickles are the ones next to a sandwich from a restaurant.”
At that point, another teammate walked up on the conversation and said, “Ew, I HATE pickles!”
Then Margaret, the player who started this whole analogy, looked at me and smiled and said, “Exactly my point and I LOVE pickles.”
It was the first time I had laughed that day & I found it quite amusing that a 12-year-old could articulate such a simple yet profound analogy. To this day, whenever a referee peer of mine is struggling with one of the toughest things in officiating…a room-splitting major decision, I am sure to share with them how refereeing is like pickles.
