Zach Zimardo: Mania and the Madness

$60,000 lost to gambling.

On top of the money lost, there was the destruction of relationships with family and friends, losing my job as a teacher, and having no pride, dignity, or self-esteem left.

My mother filed an order of protection against me. I was homeless, living on the streets, sleeping under trees in parks of West Palm Beach, Florida.

I found myself questioning how something like this could happen to me. A leader and star baseball player, a positive, vibrant social butterfly. My name is Zach Zimardo, and I have Bipolar 1 disorder.

Throughout my experience in life regarding mental health, I learned very quickly that mental health does not discriminate. In high school, I was the star baseball closer for the Massapequa Chiefs, a town in Nassau County on Long Island, New York.

I had a 0 earned run average my senior year. I was regularly in interviews on local tv stations and newspapers. I felt untouchable and like I could conquer the world.

When I arrived at college I knew something was wrong. I was very disengaged and not like myself. Just like in high school, I walked on to my college baseball team at SUNY Oneonta, but things felt totally different. I was not okay mentally.

I would say to myself, like:

“Zach, snap out of it. You are tougher than this.”

“Zach, you are a strong man; you need to be better."

"Don’t cry.” 

While I was not doing well mentally, the stigma that surrounded me seeking help was too much, and I was never able to build up the courage to go to my School's health center. I wish I had sought help and spoken up then.

Bipolar 1 is a severe mental illness defined by at least one manic episode, which involves intense high moods with significantly impaired functioning, potentially requiring hospitalization or involving psychosis, often followed by major depressive episodes. The scenario described at the start was my manic episode. The depression that followed, I would not wish upon anyone on this earth. 

I am now a teacher, coach, mentor, mental health advocate, and I have Bipolar 1 disorder.

I have learned to cope with my mental health issues and learned to seek help and use my voice to help and inspire others. There is still a stigma surrounding mental health that needs to be addressed, especially among athletes. As I said before, mental health does not discriminate.

A goal of mine in this beautiful thing we call life is to spread mental health awareness to all, especially regarding Bipolar 1 disorder and to ex-athletes and young, accomplished adults.

Now, I have a voice and a platform, and the courage to use them. I am determined to use my voice because mental health matters, and please know that you are not alone!